The New Mexico desert streams past on the shuttle ride from Albuquerque to Santa Fe। Brown and red desert dotted occasionally with the greens of cactus and grasses. A wide blue sky streaked with clouds. I am tired from my journey. I hear the buzz of small talk among strangers as we are shuttled to our various hotels and find myself feeling impatient and wishing for some sisterly dyke energy. Somehow through my own mental fog I hear the voice of the womon in front of me. She is responding to someone’s question. I hear her say she is here for a conference in Santa Fe. She is here for the Hullaballoo! Suddenly we are no longer lone dykes trying to bear under the strain of traveling in heteropatriarchy. We are now sisters of the same tribe. We move closer and spend the rest of the trip discussing lesbian feminist theory and how we’ve come to be here. I am in the company of Hye Sook Hwang and she is one of the presenters at the Feminist Hullaballoo. I am joyfully privy to an overview of what she will be presenting and how she came to be here at the invitation of Mary Daly. As she is dropped off at her hotel we embrace and so it begins. The energy has shifted I am no longer a solitary dyke and this auspicious and fortunate meeting of another sister will be the beginning of many more such interactions waiting to unfold.
At registration we are gifted with a goodie bag of dykely delights। Our program is a spiral bound mini book complete with the schedule, presenter/performer bios, and spaces for jotting down notes. Of great prominence in the bag is a book, one of several Mary Daly classics, Gyn-ecology, Wickedary, or Pure Lust. This sparks a flurry of trading and adds to the fun and sharing that will continue throughout this extraordinary weekend. Digging deeper into the bag we find, much to our delight an array of snacks and hand-made hemp bracelets. It is a true bonanza of gifts, and right away I can feel that so much thoughtfulness has gone into this event. This exquisite gifting sets the tone for what will be an amazing experience.
Friday evening is the formal beginning of the Feminist Hullaballoo, but the planning and energy put into this event began a long time ago। 13 womyn came together to pull this off. Sonia Johnson and Jade Deforest most recognisable at its fore, but it must not be forgotten that every sister involved gave greatly and lovingly to make this happen. Brandan Beech, Chloe Cervantes, Janet Cramer, Sequoia Edwards, Kimberly Elliot, Karen Foss, Sonja Foss, Ashley Grisso, Kris Kirschbaum, Constance Rose, and Monica Yancey. Collectively they are Estrogenerations Inc. What they have given is immeasurable and revolutionary. Even now 3 months later the most memorable thoughts still come to me as clear as the days the Feminist Hullaballoo happened.
Our emcees are Ruthie Berman and Connie Kurtz. They have the task of keeping us entertained in those in-between times of presenters and performers. An honest humour steeped in the stories of their lives growing up Brooklyn raised Jewish girls and discovering their love for each other more than 40 years ago. Their banter is sharp-witted and has the entire place roaring with laughter. These two incredible womyn are featured in a film entitled Ruthie and Connie: Every Room in the House.
A lone womon takes the stage। Lesbians thunder their applause for the womon standing and waiting to speak. It is Sonia Johnson. Her voice is soft yet strong as she asks us to remember. She calls us all to remember when we last gathered; when the world was in such peril; when it rested with us, the womyn to create change. She weaves for us a story to aid our memories. A circle of womyn gathered on a hilltop, pledging our lives to each other. In that time, the burning time countless of us went to our deaths, but still we defied the man-made madness and risked our very lives to gather, to promise, to remember. Then we had to forget. We had to forget to stay alive. Here and now Sonia reminds us is the fulfillment of that promise. We have gathered again to take up the task of saving our beloved planet and ourselves. For it is the magic of womyn that will make it happen, even in the midst of this new man-made madness, for when we gather we are powerful. Sonia leaves the stage to the same thunderous applause, but we are now not just clapping for her, but for ourselves as we now remember why we are here.
We have been asked to remember, to ignite the spark of a long ago promise। We create a vibrant ritual that calls forth the primal and fiery energy of our lesbian spirit. On the stage sits a huge cauldron. A womon dancing wildly to thundering drums around it as flames shoot from its depths. This is a powerful image. We, like the cauldron, hold a mystery and depth that can only be seen by daring to peer into the center of it. There one knows the true fire of the lesbian soul. This symbolic container holds the energy for our now remembered untamable lesbian spirits. Our hearts are the drums, our bodies the cauldron, our spirits the blazing fire contained within.
My first met new friend Hye Sook Hwang speaks of growing up in Korea। Of feeling separate and trying to find a way that made sense to her womonly soul. Her journey took her at first on a Christian missionary path, but soon enough she found her way to what she now calls the first Goddess of her people, Mago. Her story is amazing. She retells a moment when as she climbed a mountain it came to her that she was making an arduous journey to her own powerful self. In her voice I can hear the excitement as she first discovered Mary Daly and then later spent countless hours painstakingly translating some of Daly’s work into Korean. Now here she is at the invitation of Daly herself, telling her story and about to embark on creating a “gyneversity” that womyn may discover for themselves and with each other the too often untold stories of our true beginnings and power. She reminds us that we as womyn are always at the heart of peace and unity. That being gynecentric means that man and their patriarchal systems can never define us. That true power is female.
It is clear that we are here to not just remember a long ago promise, but to go forth and create strong, vibrant, womon-centered, and lesbian-loving communities। To do this we must put our intention into that commitment. Sandra Aaron leads us in a meditation, settling us down into our roots with the earth. She compels us to seek out a sister we do not yet know. We take our hand-made hemp bracelets, tying them around each other’s wrists. This is now a womon we are accountable to. We pledge to each other how we will carry our memory and promise back to our home communities. I think of all the womyn from home I love so dearly. How I can give them even just a little of the spark I have been gifted with here. I now have a sister who I can continue to share this with. Someone to check-in with regularly and share not only my own progress, but be part of knowing how she has carried her own spark back to her home and the womyn who are part of her life. In the “Actual chat-room.” dykes gather to leave on a bulletin board their intentions in written words. These are the intentions first with the tying of a bracelet. These are the intentions we will carry back to our homes to build lesbian feminist community. Already the board is overflowing with the colourful 3X5 index cards. This is the tangible reminder of what we are striving for. I write down my thoughts and leave my wishes there for all to read.
I am overflowing with the emotion of it all। It seems that wherever we begin to gather I find myself immersed in a swirling embrace of womyn. Some I know, some I have just met, but it is as if we are all familiar to each other. Everywhere there are smiles as we recognise each other. It is these times with each other that I recall with the most intensity. Images of these special moments like snapshots of freedom from heteropatriarchy. Having lunch on the lawn with friends; behind us a group of dykes has gathered and are singing. 100+ lesbians take over a local Indian restaurant. We push all the tables together and are joyously welcomed by the head chef, a womon. Food is passed freely around the tables for all to sample. Smiling, happy lesbians everywhere; this space is ours! Sitting in morning sunlight with Jody, Wolf, and Barb, talking about being separatists and how we strive to create a unique dyke culture. Fran Day who edits and publishes Sinister Wisdom is called to the stage. We erupt in thunderous applause and many rise to their feet. I am beaming to see her basking in the love and adulation of her sisters. This is a dyke who has done so much in helping maintain our lesbian culture. As she walks back up the isle she spots me and we embrace, rocking back and forth, professing deep love and friendship for each other. I see my good friend Cybilla, she hands me a copy of Sinister Wisdom in which is an article I helped write. I laugh as she asks me to sign her copy. I now know if even just a little what it might feel like to be famous. Most of all I remember the moments with my long-time friend, Jody. Holding her hand as we listen to Margie Adam and riding in her car in the cool New Mexico night air.
Something is building up; a low rumble, then a thunderous noise। I wonder if it is the sound of many womyn’s hand’s clapping. But the sound begins to take on a rhythm, a beat. I enter to see Afia Walking Tree on the stage. She is a sight to behold. Her tall, muscular body enrobed in colourful garments. I am transfixed as are many. She holds us all in a dazzling flurry of rhythm as she plays an African djembe drum. Her voice rings out as she calls to ancient Goddesses. On and on she goes, changing drums. Each one creating a different sound that perfectly matches her vibrant voice. She calls and we respond in song. Our voices ring out, first separate then merging into one great sound at the end.
Music is so much a part of this event as are the spoken words and the gathering of so many wild sisters। Alix Dobkin and her guitar; every song a familiar friend. She sings to us and we to her. Margie Adam sitting at the piano. Every song seems to carry a vibration that we want to savour. We remain still and quiet after each song, letting the final note fade away before erupting into wild applause. More importantly we get time to stand and talk with these great womyn in the lobby. Alix is familiar with this area and I get to pass on some hellos from dykes who could not be here. Margie and I discuss labyrinths from around the world and their magical, transformative female power.
Even time travel is not out of the realm of possibility here। In fact we do just this with Suzanne Bellamy. We are now 500 years in the future and are viewing slides of a recent archeological discovery. Looking back at the beginnings of the second-wave of feminism from a dig site in Australia. This presentation is both funny and poignant. How remarkable that womyn came together to question the way things were. Created feminist presses, C-R groups, and collective households to shake consciousness loose from the grip that males were the center of the universe. To be willing to face their own and other’s deeply mired self-doubts and exuberant joys. I gaze around the theater and see many older faces, knowing these are the sisters who did the work before me and now I am here to take up my place in the continuing to remember. I wonder if in 500 years what those womyn who come after me will think and if they will have fulfilled the promise.
Anytime strong, radical feminist dykes get together we not only create amazing, powerful, revolutionary vibrations we create challenges, disagreements and controversy। We certainly create these things in the context of heteropatriarchy, just by our very naming ourselves lesbians and feminists, but we also create these with each other and the Feminist Hullaballoo was no different in this respect. The first vibration of this came to be felt when Sally Gearhart spoke. She asks us to consider the differences between activism and inspiration. Activism has an inherent obligation and component of suffering that does not aid those who are oppressed. Inspiration is about being “self-full”, looking inward for our own source of power. The opposite of war is not peace, but diversity. For her this does include queer politics and this is where the divergence for me began. I can fully understand the desire to create a peaceful, loving world, and for Sally it means making room for everyone, even males. At his point I have shut-down and can no longer hear what she has to say. It is a difficult decision, but I choose to leave, as do some other dykes. We find each other and reaffirm our choices as dyke separatists. This does not mean I came away without benefit from what Sally had to say. I appreciate that she made clear how important it is to know what we want, to know what we don’t want, and to make the choice. By moving towards that we create more than just activism, we do indeed create inspiration.
Let us not forget that just as in heteropatriarchy, we face the insidiousness of racism, classism, ageism, ableism, looksism, anti-Semitism, internalized lesbian hatred, and cultural appropriation (colonialism) in our own communities। It is important to name these and be called on them when we knowingly or inadvertently engage in them. Cherrie Moraga does not hold back in naming and challenging us in this respect. She reminds us that womyn in many countries face death because of their heritage or skin colour. We who are white feminists are not as cutting-edge as we may like to think simply because we have First-world privilege. And until we have the direct experience of Third-world womyn we need to ask how much of this notion that we are radical, cutting-edge feminists is about our personalities, our egos, and our control? Womyn of colour are still told that their grandness is illness; their greatness insanity and we must not only recognise this as coming from the male-dominated world, but from within our own lesbian communities. It is up; to us to remain vigilant and continue to not just push our own brand of white feminism, but to create a true sisterhood that gives more room to the sisters who are truly cutting-edge You can feel the discomfort of this ripple through the room, but as Cherrie points out criticism is an act of love and celebration is the result of hard work and struggle. We still have much to do and many sisters are far from being in the comfortable place we now enjoy.
Shaba Barnes tells us of her own journey into activism। How she wanted to be a part of OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change), but had to wait until she was sixty. At the time she did not understand the need for this boundary and separation. Did she not count? Indeed she did, but she had to find other ways to make her difference. She organized womyn in many places and helped create a womyn of colour event in New Mexico. Today she is very much a part of OLOC as well as other groups. Today she knows that there are times to work together and times when we need to respect different group’s needs for separate solidarity. We create collectively stronger commitments when we can respect these boundaries and foster understanding amongst ourselves for this need for divergent affinity. When we finally do come together our voices will be both diverse and unified.
The time has come for the Feminist Hullaballoo to close. It is however not an ending, but a beginning. Now it is up to us to carry what we have begun here back to our homes and communities. All the presenters and performers take the stage. A great drum rests at its center. A strong beat is begun, like our strong womanly hearts it is felt. Lesbians everywhere are moving and singing. We create a great sound of remembering. Womyn who helped create our opening ritual pass around small bags with seeds for us to take home. Let these like the ideas, dreams, promises, and commitments be sown that something beautiful, resilient, loving, and peaceful may grow. Onward we go!
At registration we are gifted with a goodie bag of dykely delights। Our program is a spiral bound mini book complete with the schedule, presenter/performer bios, and spaces for jotting down notes. Of great prominence in the bag is a book, one of several Mary Daly classics, Gyn-ecology, Wickedary, or Pure Lust. This sparks a flurry of trading and adds to the fun and sharing that will continue throughout this extraordinary weekend. Digging deeper into the bag we find, much to our delight an array of snacks and hand-made hemp bracelets. It is a true bonanza of gifts, and right away I can feel that so much thoughtfulness has gone into this event. This exquisite gifting sets the tone for what will be an amazing experience.
Friday evening is the formal beginning of the Feminist Hullaballoo, but the planning and energy put into this event began a long time ago। 13 womyn came together to pull this off. Sonia Johnson and Jade Deforest most recognisable at its fore, but it must not be forgotten that every sister involved gave greatly and lovingly to make this happen. Brandan Beech, Chloe Cervantes, Janet Cramer, Sequoia Edwards, Kimberly Elliot, Karen Foss, Sonja Foss, Ashley Grisso, Kris Kirschbaum, Constance Rose, and Monica Yancey. Collectively they are Estrogenerations Inc. What they have given is immeasurable and revolutionary. Even now 3 months later the most memorable thoughts still come to me as clear as the days the Feminist Hullaballoo happened.
Our emcees are Ruthie Berman and Connie Kurtz. They have the task of keeping us entertained in those in-between times of presenters and performers. An honest humour steeped in the stories of their lives growing up Brooklyn raised Jewish girls and discovering their love for each other more than 40 years ago. Their banter is sharp-witted and has the entire place roaring with laughter. These two incredible womyn are featured in a film entitled Ruthie and Connie: Every Room in the House.
A lone womon takes the stage। Lesbians thunder their applause for the womon standing and waiting to speak. It is Sonia Johnson. Her voice is soft yet strong as she asks us to remember. She calls us all to remember when we last gathered; when the world was in such peril; when it rested with us, the womyn to create change. She weaves for us a story to aid our memories. A circle of womyn gathered on a hilltop, pledging our lives to each other. In that time, the burning time countless of us went to our deaths, but still we defied the man-made madness and risked our very lives to gather, to promise, to remember. Then we had to forget. We had to forget to stay alive. Here and now Sonia reminds us is the fulfillment of that promise. We have gathered again to take up the task of saving our beloved planet and ourselves. For it is the magic of womyn that will make it happen, even in the midst of this new man-made madness, for when we gather we are powerful. Sonia leaves the stage to the same thunderous applause, but we are now not just clapping for her, but for ourselves as we now remember why we are here.
We have been asked to remember, to ignite the spark of a long ago promise। We create a vibrant ritual that calls forth the primal and fiery energy of our lesbian spirit. On the stage sits a huge cauldron. A womon dancing wildly to thundering drums around it as flames shoot from its depths. This is a powerful image. We, like the cauldron, hold a mystery and depth that can only be seen by daring to peer into the center of it. There one knows the true fire of the lesbian soul. This symbolic container holds the energy for our now remembered untamable lesbian spirits. Our hearts are the drums, our bodies the cauldron, our spirits the blazing fire contained within.
My first met new friend Hye Sook Hwang speaks of growing up in Korea। Of feeling separate and trying to find a way that made sense to her womonly soul. Her journey took her at first on a Christian missionary path, but soon enough she found her way to what she now calls the first Goddess of her people, Mago. Her story is amazing. She retells a moment when as she climbed a mountain it came to her that she was making an arduous journey to her own powerful self. In her voice I can hear the excitement as she first discovered Mary Daly and then later spent countless hours painstakingly translating some of Daly’s work into Korean. Now here she is at the invitation of Daly herself, telling her story and about to embark on creating a “gyneversity” that womyn may discover for themselves and with each other the too often untold stories of our true beginnings and power. She reminds us that we as womyn are always at the heart of peace and unity. That being gynecentric means that man and their patriarchal systems can never define us. That true power is female.
It is clear that we are here to not just remember a long ago promise, but to go forth and create strong, vibrant, womon-centered, and lesbian-loving communities। To do this we must put our intention into that commitment. Sandra Aaron leads us in a meditation, settling us down into our roots with the earth. She compels us to seek out a sister we do not yet know. We take our hand-made hemp bracelets, tying them around each other’s wrists. This is now a womon we are accountable to. We pledge to each other how we will carry our memory and promise back to our home communities. I think of all the womyn from home I love so dearly. How I can give them even just a little of the spark I have been gifted with here. I now have a sister who I can continue to share this with. Someone to check-in with regularly and share not only my own progress, but be part of knowing how she has carried her own spark back to her home and the womyn who are part of her life. In the “Actual chat-room.” dykes gather to leave on a bulletin board their intentions in written words. These are the intentions first with the tying of a bracelet. These are the intentions we will carry back to our homes to build lesbian feminist community. Already the board is overflowing with the colourful 3X5 index cards. This is the tangible reminder of what we are striving for. I write down my thoughts and leave my wishes there for all to read.
I am overflowing with the emotion of it all। It seems that wherever we begin to gather I find myself immersed in a swirling embrace of womyn. Some I know, some I have just met, but it is as if we are all familiar to each other. Everywhere there are smiles as we recognise each other. It is these times with each other that I recall with the most intensity. Images of these special moments like snapshots of freedom from heteropatriarchy. Having lunch on the lawn with friends; behind us a group of dykes has gathered and are singing. 100+ lesbians take over a local Indian restaurant. We push all the tables together and are joyously welcomed by the head chef, a womon. Food is passed freely around the tables for all to sample. Smiling, happy lesbians everywhere; this space is ours! Sitting in morning sunlight with Jody, Wolf, and Barb, talking about being separatists and how we strive to create a unique dyke culture. Fran Day who edits and publishes Sinister Wisdom is called to the stage. We erupt in thunderous applause and many rise to their feet. I am beaming to see her basking in the love and adulation of her sisters. This is a dyke who has done so much in helping maintain our lesbian culture. As she walks back up the isle she spots me and we embrace, rocking back and forth, professing deep love and friendship for each other. I see my good friend Cybilla, she hands me a copy of Sinister Wisdom in which is an article I helped write. I laugh as she asks me to sign her copy. I now know if even just a little what it might feel like to be famous. Most of all I remember the moments with my long-time friend, Jody. Holding her hand as we listen to Margie Adam and riding in her car in the cool New Mexico night air.
Something is building up; a low rumble, then a thunderous noise। I wonder if it is the sound of many womyn’s hand’s clapping. But the sound begins to take on a rhythm, a beat. I enter to see Afia Walking Tree on the stage. She is a sight to behold. Her tall, muscular body enrobed in colourful garments. I am transfixed as are many. She holds us all in a dazzling flurry of rhythm as she plays an African djembe drum. Her voice rings out as she calls to ancient Goddesses. On and on she goes, changing drums. Each one creating a different sound that perfectly matches her vibrant voice. She calls and we respond in song. Our voices ring out, first separate then merging into one great sound at the end.
Music is so much a part of this event as are the spoken words and the gathering of so many wild sisters। Alix Dobkin and her guitar; every song a familiar friend. She sings to us and we to her. Margie Adam sitting at the piano. Every song seems to carry a vibration that we want to savour. We remain still and quiet after each song, letting the final note fade away before erupting into wild applause. More importantly we get time to stand and talk with these great womyn in the lobby. Alix is familiar with this area and I get to pass on some hellos from dykes who could not be here. Margie and I discuss labyrinths from around the world and their magical, transformative female power.
Even time travel is not out of the realm of possibility here। In fact we do just this with Suzanne Bellamy. We are now 500 years in the future and are viewing slides of a recent archeological discovery. Looking back at the beginnings of the second-wave of feminism from a dig site in Australia. This presentation is both funny and poignant. How remarkable that womyn came together to question the way things were. Created feminist presses, C-R groups, and collective households to shake consciousness loose from the grip that males were the center of the universe. To be willing to face their own and other’s deeply mired self-doubts and exuberant joys. I gaze around the theater and see many older faces, knowing these are the sisters who did the work before me and now I am here to take up my place in the continuing to remember. I wonder if in 500 years what those womyn who come after me will think and if they will have fulfilled the promise.
Anytime strong, radical feminist dykes get together we not only create amazing, powerful, revolutionary vibrations we create challenges, disagreements and controversy। We certainly create these things in the context of heteropatriarchy, just by our very naming ourselves lesbians and feminists, but we also create these with each other and the Feminist Hullaballoo was no different in this respect. The first vibration of this came to be felt when Sally Gearhart spoke. She asks us to consider the differences between activism and inspiration. Activism has an inherent obligation and component of suffering that does not aid those who are oppressed. Inspiration is about being “self-full”, looking inward for our own source of power. The opposite of war is not peace, but diversity. For her this does include queer politics and this is where the divergence for me began. I can fully understand the desire to create a peaceful, loving world, and for Sally it means making room for everyone, even males. At his point I have shut-down and can no longer hear what she has to say. It is a difficult decision, but I choose to leave, as do some other dykes. We find each other and reaffirm our choices as dyke separatists. This does not mean I came away without benefit from what Sally had to say. I appreciate that she made clear how important it is to know what we want, to know what we don’t want, and to make the choice. By moving towards that we create more than just activism, we do indeed create inspiration.
Let us not forget that just as in heteropatriarchy, we face the insidiousness of racism, classism, ageism, ableism, looksism, anti-Semitism, internalized lesbian hatred, and cultural appropriation (colonialism) in our own communities। It is important to name these and be called on them when we knowingly or inadvertently engage in them. Cherrie Moraga does not hold back in naming and challenging us in this respect. She reminds us that womyn in many countries face death because of their heritage or skin colour. We who are white feminists are not as cutting-edge as we may like to think simply because we have First-world privilege. And until we have the direct experience of Third-world womyn we need to ask how much of this notion that we are radical, cutting-edge feminists is about our personalities, our egos, and our control? Womyn of colour are still told that their grandness is illness; their greatness insanity and we must not only recognise this as coming from the male-dominated world, but from within our own lesbian communities. It is up; to us to remain vigilant and continue to not just push our own brand of white feminism, but to create a true sisterhood that gives more room to the sisters who are truly cutting-edge You can feel the discomfort of this ripple through the room, but as Cherrie points out criticism is an act of love and celebration is the result of hard work and struggle. We still have much to do and many sisters are far from being in the comfortable place we now enjoy.
Shaba Barnes tells us of her own journey into activism। How she wanted to be a part of OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change), but had to wait until she was sixty. At the time she did not understand the need for this boundary and separation. Did she not count? Indeed she did, but she had to find other ways to make her difference. She organized womyn in many places and helped create a womyn of colour event in New Mexico. Today she is very much a part of OLOC as well as other groups. Today she knows that there are times to work together and times when we need to respect different group’s needs for separate solidarity. We create collectively stronger commitments when we can respect these boundaries and foster understanding amongst ourselves for this need for divergent affinity. When we finally do come together our voices will be both diverse and unified.
The time has come for the Feminist Hullaballoo to close. It is however not an ending, but a beginning. Now it is up to us to carry what we have begun here back to our homes and communities. All the presenters and performers take the stage. A great drum rests at its center. A strong beat is begun, like our strong womanly hearts it is felt. Lesbians everywhere are moving and singing. We create a great sound of remembering. Womyn who helped create our opening ritual pass around small bags with seeds for us to take home. Let these like the ideas, dreams, promises, and commitments be sown that something beautiful, resilient, loving, and peaceful may grow. Onward we go!
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